


you are weak and hollow and it doesn't matter anymore

by irlbyron



Category: The Exorcist (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 07:03:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8614279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irlbyron/pseuds/irlbyron
Summary: and you know that a boy who likes boys is a dead boy, unlesshe keeps his mouth shut, which is what youdidn’t do//inspired by  the line in Chapter Five: Through My Most Grievous Fault





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings for mentions of homophobia, in a religious context, and internalized. Use of the word 'homosexual' in a negative context, and the large spaces are for accessibility.

Marcus stumbled out of the room and fell into Father Tomás, sweating and panting.

 

“What happened in there?” Tomás managed to stutter.

 

Marcus shook his head, running his hand over his face and panting. “She is heavily possessed by something I have never encountered. It’s far stronger than I ever anticipated.”

 

Tomás nodded and held Marcus’ arm gently as he guided him to the sofa and sat them both down.

 

“Did you listen?” Marcus asked abruptly, glancing up at Tomás as he drank from a glass of water.

 

“I couldn’t help” Tomás mumbled. “It-it’s just a demon. It wants to agitate you” He said half-heartedly.

 

Even he knew better than what he was saying. A demon, no matter how vile, the words it spoke would always be the truth. The truth was infinitely more damaging than any lies.

 

Marcus shook his head and set the glass heavily on the table. He hid his face in his hands. “No, no, no, no. They never lie, they never ever lie. Lying would be pointless to a demon. If it knows the truth, and it always does, it’ll use it.”

 

Tomás bit his lip and tentatively rested his hand on Marcus’ shoulder. “Father, what did the demon… what did it mean when it said girls aren't really your flavour?”

 

Marcus hiccupped and shrugged. “I, uh, I don’t know” He stumbled over his words. “Taunting?”

 

Tomás licked his lips and shook his head gently. “Marcus, I promised not to lie to you and you promised no judgement. I encourage a reflection of the favour. Tell me no lies and I will give you no judgement. Was it referring to your last exorcism, of a boy?”

 

Marcus laughed humorlessly and shook his head. “I wish that’s all it was referring to. No, no, Father Tomás. I, most unfortunately, contain infinite more weakness and sin than you do.”

 

Tomás shook his head and moved his hand down to Marcus’ forearm and squeezed it soothingly. “No, no, you don’t Marcus. Please, just tell me what the demon meant.”

 

“I’m a homosexual” Marcus snapped. “The demon meant girls aren’t my flavour fairly literally. The demon was mocking me for something I’ve already been mocked for. It’s nothing new” He hiccupped and hid his face back in his hands.

 

Tomás froze for a second. His mind briefly spun with all the things he’d been told about homosexuals in the Catholic church, and then with all the things he’d insisted on teaching his congregation. Love, acceptance, and equality for their gay brothers and sisters.

 

“Marcus, my brother, do not be ashamed. There is nothing sinful about your desires and your love for other men. The old, archaic days of the Catholic church need revision and priests need to bring love and acceptance into their church rather than exclusion,” Tomás said gently, still holding on Marcus’ arm. “This is 2016 and humanity should encourage sexual freedom as long as it is an expression of love and consent.”

 

Marcus’ head snapped up in surprise, his eyes shining. “Of course, I understand that. But- but I’ve been shunned before and the church doesn’t know and if they ever knew… I’d be more of a disgrace than I already am.”

 

Tomás shook his head. “Hush now. You are likely right but I will do my best to shield you from whatever I can here in Chicago.”

 

Marcus laughed and wiped his eyes. “Ha, you mean that? Bloody hell, looks like the young one’s really are beginning to take over.”

 

Tomás shoved Marcus playfully. “Hush you. The old men still have years left in them yet. So let’s prove it. Let’s get that demon out of that poor girl, hey? Prove your worth!” He implored, squeezing Marcus’ hand briefly and then standing up.

 

Marcus nodded and stood with Tomás. “You’re right. Let’s go and send that bloody bugger back to Hell.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments, I'd love to write more, send me any ideas @irlconstantine on tumblr and twitter


End file.
